Merge pull request #1 from NARKOZ/master

Updating from upstream

Author: eiser82

CSharp/Hangover.cs

@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+namespace Hacker_Scripts
+{
+    using System;
+    using Twilio;
+    using System.Linq;
+
+    class Hangover
+    {
+        public static string TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Environment.GetEnvironmentVariable("TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID");
+        public static string AUTH_TOKEN = Environment.GetEnvironmentVariable("TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN");
+
+        public static string YOUR_NUMBER = "9879789978";
+        public static string BOSS_NUMBER = "3213213233";
+
+        static void Main(string[] args)
+        {
+            var twilio = new TwilioRestClient(TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID, AUTH_TOKEN);
+
+            string[] randomMessages = {
+                "Locked out",
+                "Pipes broke",
+                "Food poisoning",
+                "Not feeling well"
+            };
+
+            int randomIndex = new Random().Next(randomMessages.Count());
+            String messageToSend = (randomMessages[randomIndex]);
+
+            var message = twilio.SendMessage(YOUR_NUMBER, BOSS_NUMBER, messageToSend);
+            Console.WriteLine(message.Sid);
+        }
+    }
+}
+

CSharp/SmackMyBitch.cs

@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+using System;
+using System.Collections.Generic;
+using System.Linq;
+using System.Text;
+using System.Threading.Tasks;
+using Twilio;
+
+namespace Hacker_Scripts
+{
+    class SmackMyBitch
+    {
+        public static string TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Environment.GetEnvironmentVariable("TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID");
+        public static string AUTH_TOKEN = Environment.GetEnvironmentVariable("TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN");
+
+        public static string YOUR_NUMBER = "9879789978";
+        public static string HER_NUMBER = "3213213233";
+
+        static void Main(string[] args)
+        {
+            var twilio = new TwilioRestClient(TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID, AUTH_TOKEN);
+
+            string[] randomMessages = {
+                "Working hard",
+                "Gotta ship this feature",
+                "Someone fucked the system again"
+            };
+
+            int randomIndex = new Random().Next(randomMessages.Count());
+            String messageToSend = (randomMessages[randomIndex]);
+
+            var message = twilio.SendMessage(YOUR_NUMBER, HER_NUMBER, messageToSend);
+            Console.WriteLine(message.Sid);
+        }
+    }
+}

R/hangover.R

@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+library(httr)
+
+today = Sys.Date()
+
+# skip weekends
+if( weekdays(today) %in% c('Saturday','Sunday') ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# exit if no sessions with my username are found
+output = system("who", intern = TRUE)
+if( !( grep('^my_user_name', output) ) ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# returns 'None' if the key doesn't exist
+TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID')
+TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN  = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN')
+
+# Phone numbers
+my_number = '+xxx'
+number_of_boss= '+xxx'
+
+excuse = c(
+  'Locked out',
+  'Pipes broke',
+  'Food poisoning',
+  'Not feeling well'
+      )
+
+POST(paste("https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/",TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,"/Messages.json",sep=""),
+          body = list(From=my_number,To=number_of_boss,Body=paste("Gonna work from home. ", sample(excuse,1))),
+	            authenticate(TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN) )
+
+print( paste("Message sent at",Sys.time()) )

R/smack_my_bitch_up.R

@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+library(httr)
+
+today = Sys.Date()
+
+# skip weekends
+if( weekdays(today) %in% c('Saturday','Sunday') ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# exit if no sessions with my username are found
+output = system("who", intern = TRUE)
+if( !( grep('^my_user_name', output) ) ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# returns 'None' if the key doesn't exist
+TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID')
+TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN  = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN')
+
+# Phone numbers
+my_number = '+xxx'
+her_number = '+xxx'
+
+reasons = c(
+  'Working hard',
+    'Gotta ship this feature',
+      'Someone fucked the system again'
+      )
+
+POST(paste("https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/",TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,"/Messages.json",sep=""),
+          body = list(From=my_number,To=her_number,Body=paste("Late at work. ", sample(reasons,1))),
+	            authenticate(TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN) )
+
+print( paste("Message sent at",Sys.time()) )

README.md

@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ story](https://www.jitbit.com/alexblog/249-now-thats-what-i-call-a-hacker/)_:
 
 > xxx: [`hangover.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/hangover.sh) - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
 
-> xxx: (and the oscar goes to) [`fucking-coffee.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/fucking-coffee.sh) - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
+> xxx: (and the oscar goes to) [`fucking-coffee.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/fucking-coffee.sh) - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like `sys brew`. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
 
 > xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
 
@@ -37,22 +37,22 @@ GMAIL_PASSWORD=password
 ```
 
 For Ruby scripts you need to install gems:
-`gem install dotenv twilio gmail`
+`gem install dotenv twilio-ruby gmail`
 
 ## Cron jobs
 
 ```sh
-# Runs `smack-my-bitch-up.sh` daily at 9:20 pm.
-20 21 * * * /path/to/scripts/smack-my-bitch-up.sh >> /path/to/smack-my-bitch-up.log 2>&1
+# Runs `smack-my-bitch-up.sh` monday to friday at 9:20 pm.
+20 21 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/smack-my-bitch-up.sh >> /path/to/smack-my-bitch-up.log 2>&1
 
-# Runs `hangover.sh` daily at 8:45 am.
-45 8 * * * /path/to/scripts/hangover.sh >> /path/to/hangover.log 2>&1
+# Runs `hangover.sh` monday to friday at 8:45 am.
+45 8 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/hangover.sh >> /path/to/hangover.log 2>&1
 
 # Runs `kumar-asshole.sh` every 10 minutes.
 */10 * * * * /path/to/scripts/kumar-asshole.sh
 
-# Runs `fucking-coffee.sh` hourly from 9am to 6pm.
-0 9-18 * * * /path/to/scripts/fucking-coffee.sh
+# Runs `fucking-coffee.sh` hourly from 9am to 6pm on weekdays.
+0 9-18 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/fucking-coffee.sh
 ```
 
 ---

coffee/fucking.coffee

@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env coffee
+
+username = 'name'
+
+host = 'localhost'
+port = '3000'
+pass = '5555'
+
+sh = require('child_process').execSync
+
+# weekend
+process.exit 0 if new Date().getDay() in [6, 0]
+
+# no sessions
+process.exit 0 unless new RegExp(username).test sh('who -q').toString()
+
+conn = require('net').createConnection port, host
+
+setTimeout ->
+  conn.write "#{pass}\nsys brew\n"
+  setTimeout ->
+    conn.end 'sys pour'
+    process.exit 0
+  , 2 * 1000
+, 1 * 1000
+
+# alert
+sh 'say come here and take your fucking coffee'

fucking_coffee.rb

@@ -1,8 +1,5 @@
 #!/usr/bin/env ruby
 
-# Skip on weekends
-exit if Time.now.saturday? || Time.now.sunday?
-
 # Exit early if no sessions with my username are found
 exit unless `who -q`.include? ENV['USER']
 

go/hangover.go

@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"log"
+	"math/rand"
+	"os"
+
+	"github.com/codeskyblue/go-sh"
+	"github.com/subosito/twilio"
+)
+
+const my_number string = "+xxxxx"
+const boss_number string = "+yyyyy"
+
+func main() {
+	//exit if sessions with my username are found
+	_, err := sh.Command("who").Command("grep", "my_username").Output()
+	if err != nil {
+		os.Exit(1)
+	}
+
+	//Grab Twilio ID and token from environment variables
+	Account_Sid := os.Getenv("TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID")
+	Auth_Token := os.Getenv("TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN")
+
+	//create the reasons slice and append reasons to it
+	reasons := make([]string, 0)
+	reasons = append(reasons,
+		"Locked out",
+		"Pipes broke",
+		"Food poisoning",
+		"Not feeling well")
+
+	// Initialize Twilio client and send message
+	client := twilio.NewClient(Account_Sid, Auth_Token, nil)
+	message := fmt.Sprint("Gonna work from home...", reasons[rand.Intn(len(reasons))])
+
+	params := twilio.MessageParams{
+		Body: message,
+	}
+	s, resp, err := client.Messages.Send(my_number, boss_number, params)
+
+	if err == nil {
+		log.Fatal(s, resp, err)
+	}
+}

go/smack_my_bitch_up.go

@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"math/rand"
+	"os"
+	"os/exec"
+	"strings"
+	"time"
+)
+
+func main() {
+	output1, err := exec.Command("who").Output()
+	output2 := os.Getenv("USER")
+	users := string(output1[:])
+	current_user := string(output2[:])
+	if !strings.Contains(users, current_user) {
+		return
+	}
+
+	reasons := []string{"Working hard", "Gotta ship this feature", "Someone fucked the system again"}
+
+	rand.Seed(time.Now().UTC().UnixNano())
+	message := "Late at work. " + reasons[rand.Intn(len(reasons))]
+
+	TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID := string(os.Getenv("TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID"))
+	TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN := string(os.Getenv("TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN"))
+	MY_NUMBER := string(os.Getenv("MY_NUMBER"))
+	HER_NUMBER := string(os.Getenv("HER_NUMBER"))
+
+	response, err := exec.Command("curl", "-fSs", "-u", TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID+":"+TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN, "-d", "From="+MY_NUMBER, "-d", "To="+HER_NUMBER, "-d", "Body="+message, "https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/"+TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID+"/Messages").Output()
+	if err != nil {
+		fmt.Printf("Failed to send SMS: %s", err)
+		return
+	}
+
+	fmt.Printf("Message Sent Successfully with response: %s ", response)
+}

groovy/fucking_coffee.groovy

@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+@Grab(group='org.hidetake', module='groovy-ssh', version='1.1.8')
+@GrabExclude('org.codehaus.groovy:groovy-all')
+import org.hidetake.groovy.ssh.Ssh
+
+final def ssh = Ssh.newService()
+
+final def HOST = '10.10.42.42'
+final def USER = 'my_username'
+final def PASSWORD = '1234'
+final def DELAY = 24
+
+ssh.remotes {
+    webServer {
+        host = HOST
+        user = USER
+        password = PASSWORD
+    }
+}
+
+ssh.run {
+    session(ssh.remotes.webServer) {
+        execute 'sys brew'
+        execute "sleep ${DELAY}s"
+        execute 'sys pour'
+    }
+}